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# I Didn't Want to Live My Mother's Life
- URL: https://www.story.sg/i-didnt-want-to-live-my-mothers-life/
- Published: 2026-11-13T06:59:07.000Z
- Updated: 2026-11-13T06:59:07.000Z
- Author: sam choo

My mother died at 60, having spent most of her life looking after everyone except herself.

I was 31, with two young children, when I began wondering if I was heading down the same path.

My mother was a typical traditional Chinese mum. She rarely expressed her love in words, but she showed it through the things she did for us.

I especially miss her Cantonese double-boiled soup.

I had never known her to be sick. So when she was diagnosed with late-stage cancer and given six months to live, it came as a terrible shock.

She died within those six months.

After her death, I began thinking about the life she had lived. She had spent so much of it looking after everyone else. There were things she never got to do for herself.

And I started wondering whether I wanted to live the same way.

I was working in a corporate job managing industrial leases while raising two young children. Back then, nobody talked much about work-life balance, mental wellness or self-care.

None of my friends had experienced losing a loved one. I didn't think anyone would understand what I was going through, so I kept my feelings to myself.

I went through my days feeling sad and lost.

I started reading personal development books and keeping a journal. I asked myself questions I had never considered before.

What was really important to me? What memories did I want my children to have of me? Was I taking care of myself?

I spent several years trying to find my answers.

Then I began noticing a change in my eldest daughter. She was about to enter primary school, and she seemed to be becoming more withdrawn.

That troubled me.

I had already been thinking about leaving my corporate job to spend more time with my family. Seeing the change in my daughter was the final push I needed.

I resigned and set up an enrichment centre under a franchise. It was a big change, but it gave me greater flexibility to be with my family.

Some of my peers thought I was crazy.

But I had spent years questioning what mattered most to me, and I finally had the courage to do something about it.

Looking back, I have no regrets.

I still miss my mother, especially her double-boiled soup. And I often think about how much of her life she gave to us.

Her death made me look at my own life differently. My daughter's growing up made me realise I couldn't keep putting off the changes I wanted to make.

My mother taught me how to care for my family. Her death taught me to make room for myself.

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*Told by: *Ng Siew Siew** 
*Written by: Sam Choo* 
*Story Tags: Motherhood, Loss, Life Choices*

Ng Siew Siew shares how losing her mother at 60 led her to rethink her priorities and eventually leave her corporate career to spend more time with her family.

**LinkedIn:** [https://www.linkedin.com/in/siewsiew/](https://www.linkedin.com/in/siewsiew/?ref=story.sg)