> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.story.sg/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # I Was Afraid to Receive Awards Because My Classmates Laughed at Me - URL: https://www.story.sg/i-was-afraid-to-receive-awards-because-my-classmates-laughed-at-me/ - Published: 2026-11-10T07:20:18.000Z - Updated: 2026-11-10T07:20:18.000Z - Author: sam choo Receiving an award should have been a happy moment. For me, it was something I feared. During secondary school, I was among the top 10 students academically. I worked hard and received awards for my achievements. But some of my classmates laughed at me and teased me because of my disability. They called me names like "Spiderman" and "Undertaker" because of the splint I wore on my right hand. I became afraid of going on stage to receive awards. I worried that my classmates would laugh at me again. Instead of feeling proud of my achievements, I felt anxious and embarrassed. There were times when I had negative thoughts about doing well academically because success meant having to face that humiliation again. Nobody knew how I felt. I never told my teachers or my family. My life had changed in 1995, when my father and I were involved in a motorcycle accident. A pickup van collided with our motorcycle, sending both of us flying. My father escaped with minor injuries. I suffered a traumatic brain injury that affected my cognitive abilities and nervous system, particularly the right side of my body. I spent more than five days in the intensive care unit at Tan Tock Seng Hospital. The accident left me with permanent physical disabilities. For about a year, I was in a wheelchair. Through intensive rehabilitation at Ang Mo Kio Rehabilitation Centre, I gradually learned to walk again and regained the ability to perform everyday activities. My left hand became my dominant hand. During primary school, my family was concerned about my physical condition. For most of those years, I was not allowed to participate in Physical Education or co-curricular activities. I finally joined the Computer Club in Primary 4, which brought me great happiness. Secondary school was much harder. The bullying affected my confidence and self-esteem. Sometimes, I deliberately took a longer route around the school or on my way home to avoid the students who teased me. I felt lonely and helpless. I began to see myself through the eyes of those who made fun of me. Things improved when I entered Ngee Ann Polytechnic to study Engineering Informatics. Most people there were more understanding and accepting of my disability. But the emotional scars remained. I was self-conscious about my right hand and my appearance. I avoided taking photographs with friends and lacked the confidence to pursue romantic relationships. After graduating, I faced another difficult period. I wanted to find employment and support my family, including my aunt and grandmother. But despite searching for jobs and approaching employment agencies, I struggled to find work. Many nights, I cried. "Why is my life like this?" I would ask myself. I felt lost and discouraged. There were times when I even had suicidal thoughts. What kept me going was my belief in "mind over body." I wanted to live life to the fullest. I wanted to prove that I could achieve many things despite my disability. One interest that helped me discover what I could do was magic. When I was 17, I watched a magician on television make a toothpick disappear. He then demonstrated how the trick was done. I was amazed. That simple television performance sparked my interest in learning magic, especially discovering which tricks I could perform using only one hand. The first trick I remember mastering was a simple card trick. I felt a wonderful sense of satisfaction when I succeeded. Every time I performed magic, I experienced that same excitement and amazement. Over the years, I continued challenging myself in other ways. I became involved in para athletics, fitness training, volunteering and public performances. I completed more than 50 races and participated in vertical marathons. I also developed an interest in Latin dancing and became a busker. Today, I perform one-handed magic and card tricks. I also work in several roles, including sports, education and community activities. I have even learned to use my left foot to trim the fingernails of my left hand. These are things I once might never have imagined doing. Of course, I still experience sadness and difficult moments. There are times when I cry privately. I have learned that staying positive is not always easy. For a long time, I wanted people to accept me. I worried about how they saw my disability, my appearance and my abilities. Gradually, I learned to accept myself. I now prefer to think of PwD, commonly used to mean "Persons with Disabilities," as "Persons with Determination." I cannot change what happened to me in 1995\. I cannot erase the years of bullying or the nights when I cried because I felt worthless. But I can decide how I want to live my life today. Sometimes, I think about that young boy who was afraid to walk onto the school stage to receive an award. If I could speak to him now, I would tell him: "Be confident. Be yourself. Don't let what other people think stop you from doing what you enjoy. Their laughter doesn't decide your worth. You deserve to be proud of yourself and your achievements." And I hope he would believe me. --- *Told by: *Jackie Chionh** *Written by: Sam Choo* *Story Tags: Disability, Bullying, Self-Acceptance* Jackie Chionh is a docent guide, motivational speaker and magician. Website: [www.jackiechionh.com](http://www.jackiechionh.com/?ref=story.sg)