The Fat Diva Who Refused to Hide

My fatness brought me fame, glory, money, and plenty of admirers.

Yes, you read that correctly.

Hi, I am Sharmilah, your Fat Diva. And I have always been proud to be fat and fabulous!

I was once chosen to model alongside China's top 40 models at an F1 event. I was the only plus-size model sharing the catwalk with all those slim beauties.

As a belly dancer, I was in such demand that I could receive tips of up to $1,000 for just three minutes of dancing. I performed on luxury cruises and at high-end events.

And the men? Oh, falling in love was never a problem. My admirers were like a luxurious international buffet. They adored my curves and treated me like a queen.

But my journey to becoming a Fat Diva began long before the glamour.

I was born weighing five kilograms in the 1970s. According to my mum, I was the superstar of the maternity ward. Visitors came to see this unusually big baby, and strangers showered me with gifts.

My mother always made me feel beautiful. She treated me like a queen because of my size.

Then one day, a teacher shattered that confidence.

I was in primary school when I watched my friends dancing at a school concert. I loved dancing and wanted to join the dance club.

When I approached my teacher, she immediately said no.

Fat girls, she told me, did not look good on stage.

I was devastated.

I went home, refused to eat, and told my mother that she had lied to me. How could she say fat girls were beautiful when my teacher said we were ugly and unacceptable?

My mother was furious.

She told me my teacher was a fool. It was the teacher's loss because I would have been great on stage.

Those words stayed with me.

Instead of giving up, I started my own dance group. The school loved watching me perform.

And I never stopped dancing until I was 40.

As I grew older, I discovered that people could be surprisingly cruel about a woman's size.

Once, I was having dinner with an ang moh friend when a gentleman from another table approached us. He admired my appearance and told me I looked amazing and charming despite being plus-size.

I thanked him and said I was happy with myself.

My friend immediately challenged me.

"Stop lying to yourself. No woman can be happy in that body of yours."

She accused me of having no discipline with my diet and being too lazy to exercise.

For a moment, I was confused. Why couldn't she believe that I genuinely loved myself?

I later reflected on the difficulties in her own life, including the physical and mental abuse she had experienced from her husband. I felt that some of her bitterness had been directed at me.

Another incident happened at work.

Six months after I was hired, my boss's wife made a startling confession.

She told me she had been shocked when her husband employed me because I was so fat. She had assumed I would be lazy and sluggish.

"But you turn out to be our best employee," she admitted.

She was surprised by how active and productive I was.

That was when I realised how deeply people judged fat women.

I decided to do something about it.

I founded Big Is Gorgeous (B.I.G.), a movement to empower plus-size women through belly dancing, catwalk training, deportment, fashion, and educational talks by doctors on physical and mental health.

For ten years, I devoted myself to this movement.

It brought me incredible opportunities. I appeared in magazines, newspapers, television programmes, radio interviews, and talk shows. I spoke at schools and prestigious events attended by CEOs, ministers, and investors.

I was even invited to APEC in Singapore, where I met world leaders and prominent business figures, including Jack Ma of Alibaba.

When people saw my Big Is Gorgeous name card, many praised the movement.

I was living a glamorous life, and I loved it.

But there was one man who helped me find the confidence to show the world who I really was.

My former boyfriend.

Before I became the Fat Diva, I used to hide my body beneath loose, long-sleeved shirts and Bermudas.

He would buy me tight-fitting, sleeveless dresses, but I was too embarrassed to wear them.

One day, he challenged me to put on a beautiful, figure-hugging dress that showed all the folded tires around my tummy.

I told him he was crazy.

He told me I was the crazy one because I loved those dresses but worried too much about what people would say.

So I accepted his challenge.

That evening, he took me to dinner at the Hilton Hotel.

I wore the dress.

He kept praising me, looking at me as though I were the most beautiful woman in the world. He held my hand proudly.

That evening changed something inside me.

I stopped hiding my body.

There was no turning back.

For years, I encouraged other plus-size women to look good, feel good, and love themselves. I wanted them to experience the freedom and confidence I had discovered.

But life eventually brought me a challenge that no amount of confidence could overcome.

My health began to suffer.

I was diagnosed with several chronic illnesses. I suffered a stroke and eventually found myself in a wheelchair.

After years of dancing on stages and walking catwalks, I was now fighting to recover.

I knew that being fat came with health risks. Looking back, I wished I had taken better care of my diet and exercised more.

Yet I never regretted being the woman I was.

If I had the chance to live my life again, I would still choose to be born fat and beautiful. I would simply take better care of my health.

My size gave me opportunities I never imagined. It brought me admiration, adventures, and the chance to help other women believe in themselves.

And if there is one thing I hope you remember about me, it is this:

I was proud to be your Fat Diva.

Yours truly,

Sharmilah Begum

Proud to be your Fat Diva.

Told by Sharmilah Begum Mehmood

Written by Sam Choo

Story Tags: Body Confidence, Resilience, Women Empowerment

Sharmilah Begum Mehmood was a Singaporean plus-size model, belly dancer, and founder of Big Is Gorgeous (B.I.G.), a movement dedicated to empowering plus-size women. She championed body confidence and self-acceptance. Sharmilah has since passed away, but her story and message live on. It is shared in loving memory of Sharmilah, celebrating her remarkable life, her confidence, and her passion for empowering women.

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